Question Time!!

SO.

Say you're standing infront of a table of tshirts that you may or may not want to buy. Each shirt has a sticker on it that states the size and the price. There is obviously only one shirt in each size on the table, and easily visible but not reachable boxes of tshirts behind the table.

Oh yes, and you see me standing behind the table with an expectant smile on my face. Ok, well, it's more of a strained grimace.

Do you...

A. Ask me how much the shirts are?
B. Walk off with a tshirt?
C. Throw the tshirts all the hell over the place, including under the table?
D. Ask what size shirts there are?
E. Tell me the size of shirt you would like, and have your money out and ready to pay?

If you said A, B,C, or D, then you were at my open house. That's right, my elementary school open house, not a Jonas Brothers concert.

Out of the $2200 sold, I swear only about $100 was sold to people who would have chose "E".

This seals it, I could never survive in retail again.

And those of you who "know" me, this does not entitle you to walk behind my table and bypass all the folk waiting to buy their shirts to ask me your inane questions, or buy your shirts. Forgive me if I tell you to hold on and help everyone freaking waiting in line until you walk away.

The school year has just started, and look at me, already bitchy!

Not Perfect

What do you suppose it means when one of your supposed closest friends says:
"Well, we all can't be perfect ALL the time."
Directed at you when you are discussing a funny and fantastic fail of a project.

I wish my "Classic" girfriends were here. Friend "Lite" are just not cutting it.

Deligate!

I'm a very do it myself kind of person. Not saying that I can gut a house and rebuild it, but with projects and tasks, I just like to take care of it myself so I know it's going to get done.

Well, being out of commission I had to deligate several events to other people. The first one went off without a hitch, as I knew it would.

Today, I was supposed to host an event. GAH!

The reason I like to take care of things myself is that I know what needs to be done, and I can make decisions myself. I hate getting three phone calls asking me "Should I do this?", "Is this how you want it done?", "Is this going to be ok?".
No, no, and NO!

If I hand over a project to you with some guidelines and say "This is what I usually do, but this time it's your show, so do whatever you feel like doing." I'm not saying call me and email me all day long to get ideas, and approval for what is now YOUR event. I'm saying "This is what I usually do, but this time it's your show, so do whatever you feel like doing." Make a damn decision yourself and leave me alone. People won't care that the event is different from the last time as long as there is plenty of NOMS.

I handed over this project so that I could get some rest. Not so I could be stressed out even more.

Just lucky like that

That's me.
I'm in the hospital this week. No worries, just a touch of Penumonia that led to some tests that led to something else.
So here I am.
For a week.
Yay me.

That is not the bit of luck I'm talking about.

What is it about me that compels people to tell me things???
My roomate right now is a 50 something German local who speaks excellent english. We communicate well.
Too well.
I learned over the course of one evening that she is from the local area all her life, she has two grown children, likes to go out dancing, does not love her husband, has a boyfriend in a city 2 hours away. What?!?
Wait, it does not end there.
Boyfriend is also married (he is a sweetheart from her school days), he has three daughters (she showed me pictures), and the youngest (16) is pregnant!
Hell.
I suppose it gives her some relief to talk about it, since she knows I don't know them, will never meet them, and who would I talk about it to?? Well, other than the whole world on my blog, but who the hell reads this? I don't want to know this stuff, but I'm too polite to tell her to shut up. Plus, she translates for me, and got me apple juice when I had to drink that nasty stuff in preparation for my intestinal examination.
It is all very strange. I have spent my week catching up on my reading (3 books so far), and watching old seasons of CSI and House. She has spent it on the phone, IM-img, and sending notes to her sweetie. It's disconcerning, as she is old enough to be my mom, yet acts like my daughter.

Somewhat entertaining, and distracting, obviously nice, but strange.

All Signs Point To: NOT GOOD.

Yeah. Throw me a pitty party.

So far it's not shaping up to a great New Year. Not that there has been catastrophic hapenings in the deGallo household. It's just an abundance of small things that are bringing me down.

First of all, Sarge's health seems to be going. He's getting cold after cold, and never seems to recover. That bacterial infection in '08 seems to have messed with his immune system in a big way. That's more of a bummer for him though.

Second, Girl Scout Cookies. Oh how I hate to love to hate them. Given the smallness of our community everyone knows about 5 or 6 people selling. I hate to be the 10th person to ask someone if they want cookes, but I have 98 boxes to get rid of, and I'm not buying them all. Luckily Sarge is a cop, and we all know cops love their cookies....Just kidding, they love doughnuts.

Third, friend drama. THIS is why I'm normally an Antisocialist. And really, it's not a problem with my friend, it a problem with her husband. See, he takes umbridge with the manner in which my husband does his job. That is that Sarge actually DOES his job and does not let them cheat and slack. And that is my problem how?!? I don't know why Friend's Husband(FH) has to complain to me (EVERY TIME I SEE HIM), I guess we all know I'm actually Sarge's boss at work too?? I can see the end of this as being me no longer being able to be friends with this gal because FH can't separate his work from his wife's friendships. So, are crap friends better or worse than no friends?

I'm a little grouchy today.

Oh yeah, and not a fabric store to be found in my area.

And, why does spell check on this thing never work?

OMG!!

What. The. HELL!!??!!

Seriously, is it because I'm getting older?

Guess what I found out this week. Not only am I allergic to Amoxacillin (rash), only the most commonly used antibiotic out there. I'm also allergic to Septra (chills, nausea, difficulty breathing, persistent headache, achy joints), and freaking Doxycycline Hyclate(severe rash and swelling)!!!

Ok, so I already knew that I was allergic to Amoxacillin, but I had no idea until this week that I was allergic to anything else! I woke up this morning after one day on the Doxycycline to discover about 70% of my body covered with an itchy rash, and my lips, eyes, and ears are swollen. At least now I know what I would look like if I decided to get collagen implants in my lips.

NOT HAPPY.

This all started out with what I thought was a spider bite on my back that would not get better. Guess what? It's not a spider bite after all. The wound has taken on a decidedly more BULLSEYE shape!!

WTFBBQ?!?! People!!!

Dog Damn WebMD, how do you treat freaking Lyme disease if you're allergic to all freaking antibiotics out there?!? Not that I know for sure I have Lyme disease. But I might!! AGH!!!

Back to School

WOOO!!

I actually feel kind of bad that I'm so happy that school is starting again.

But I am.

I think that Piko de Gallo is just as happy to be seeing her friends again, and having something new to do.

Anyway, BTS shopping is not quite as good here as it is back home. I guess I'm just a little surprised that the BX on base does not coordinate with the schools a little better. It seems like they should carry whatever is on our school supply list. But not so much. And it's not very easy to shop locally since it is considerably more expensive, and there are different size/dimension standards. It's not horrible, but they did not bring in any pencil boxes, fat pencils, or plain pink erasers. All of which were on our list. Most people end up having family or friends back in the states send them stuff, but really, what a hassle. Not "I'm so mad about this that I want to kill someone", but more like "What's the deal man."

On a more positive twist, since there were no pencil boxes I did get to try out a new sewing skill.

I sewed my first zipper. I'm sure I did it wrong, but it zips properly and that's all that counts.

I made Piko deGallo a pencil pouch.

Here is a detail of the little bird I embroidered. It's actually chirping her real name, but I decided to block that out.

AAAAGGGHHH!!!

Ok, so it should come as no surprise that I'm a tad anal retentive.

But look at this!!


AAAA!!! This is one of the library books that I checked out this week. AAAAAA!!! All of the dates are stamped on AAAAAA!!!! not on the lines!!!! The guy that was checking out the books did this to every single one! Then the kicker. He gets to the last book, and there are no more lines at the bottom to stamp the new due date in. So he heaves a big sigh, AND THEN STAMPS THE NEW DATE IN A SPACE BETWEEN TWO OLDER DUE DATES!!!!!

WHAT?!

The Edge of a Kinfe

It's official.

Tomorrow I will be walking that knife's edge between closer to 30, and closer to 40.

Not that I particularly care. I suppose that it helps that people are surprised to find out my age. I tell them that it's because I'm Aaaaasssian, and I use "Perrrrrr crrrreeeeaam" to keep my face young and soft.

Actually, that's not true, I use Cetaphil, and only when I can be arsed to remember.

Anyhoodles. How must I celebrate? Well, let me tell you, it sure won't be with a honking big cup of steaming coffee!!

That's right, the curse of my family has finally struck me. High blood pressure.

So I get to enjoy my the morning of my 35th year with a nice tall glass of cold water, and a 25MG tab of Hydrochlorothiazide. Oh yes, and don't forget that banana to stave off the potential potassium deficiency.

Damn!! DAMN!!! I miss that coffee. But Sarge says he'll kill me if I die.

A Question

So, I was thinking I would take a sort of poll.

I just finished this quilt for our bed.

Here is a close up of the fabric.


I love it. It is the first queen sized quilt I have ever made for myself.
Anyhoo, several of my friends have commented on it while it was in progress.

"Oh! That's nice. Is that for your room? Sarge is going to let you put that on the bed? My husband would never sleep on something so flowery."

BUH??!?!?!

This is not the first time that I have experienced this either. Some husbands will not "allow" pink towels, flowered sheet sets, or any other color than blue for a bath poof.

Sarge, what does he care. If it's soft and comfy he'll use it. It's not like the man police are going to bust down our door and arrest him for pink sheets. Besides, see that yellow pillowcase under the blue one on the left? That's his pillow, it has flowers and butterflies.

Anyway, do men really care about stuff like that? Or are my friends just lame?

Really though, I do already know the answer.

Oh! My Aching Shoulders!!!!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Sarge is trying to kill me.

Thursday at the gym we did this workout. I think my time was something like 17:35, but I substituted a 25lb dumbbell for the kettleball, and had about 110 on the pull-up weight stack. Since I couldn't do a pull up to save my life, seriously. Then we played about 20 minutes of tennis. Man, we suck at tennis, that's the reason we play tennis, we are equally sucky, so nobody gets mad, it's fun and not competitive. But COME ON!!! That was a combined run of .75 miles, 63 dumbbell swings, and 36 pull-ups.

The previous day I had been working on this for a friend:

I guess her church is having some kind of singles luau/dance.
So my shoulders were pretty achy already. That freaking thing was bout 9 feet tall, and 12 feet long.

Thursday afternoon after I had gotten the approval on the finished mural, the friend reminded me that I was going to do a Tiki mural as well. Well, crap. So I got started on that one as well. As I was finishing up with the coloring and shading of that one, a PTA friend called an let me know that the dance Piko deGallo's school was having the next day needed decorations. I agreed to show up for that after dinner.

I show up at the school, and the only person there to decorate the cafeteria besides me is the friend who called me. Dude, we must have blown up about 500 balloons that night. Thankfully she had these little hand pumps that did most of the work, but AGH, again with the aching shoulders. We get mostly done there at about 9:30, and I head home.

Crap! The Tiki still needs detail outlining. Shoulders again! I wish I was ambidextrous. But it turned out freaking awesome! I want to paint one of these in our house, but Sarge says not. Though as you can see, it is totally Piko approved.
This gives you some idea of the scale I was working in.

Back to the school on Friday for the "dance". Pre-K, and Kindergarten are first, so Sarge and I attend. Balloons popping galore. I guess we have to replenish the stock for the other classes. Which means more using of the hand pump. Ow, OW! OW!!
But the kids had a great time, (however the DJ kept playing that damn "Apple Bottom Jeans" song, which is another rant entirely!) and by the time the 2nd graders got into the dance there was less popping of the balloons. Thank goodness.


So I guess I'm blaming Sarge, but it looks like he was only about 25% responsible for my current state of pain. My own stupid volunteering self is responsible for the other 75%.

Though last night, he was trying to convince me to do the split jerk workout. Um, NO.

Holy Crud!

Well, we're back!

And we're leaving in a little more than a month!

I've officially had to start thinking about the fact that we're really moving to Germany, and all that entails. Crud. Packing, yard sales, last minute appointments, dealing with the dog, cleaning my house. All things I thoroughly enjoy of course.

Maine was pretty good though. Lots of snow, fried seafood, chocolate milkshakes, Piko deGallo milestones, and family. Low on privacy, high octane coffee, companionable silence, and privacy, did I mention privacy? I'll post some pictures later.

We also drove up (in 13 hours!! a deGallo personal best!!) in our Sienna, and drove back in an Outback! Seriously, Maine must be the Subaru capital of the universe.

The Little Things

This is Sarge's idea of "doing the laundry."

"Woman!" he says, "I do the laundry ALL THE TIME."
Whatever Sarge. More like you START the laundry all the time. Then the unfolded basket of clean laundry sits in the living room for a week staring at me while I'm on the computer. And the other half of the stuff stays in the dryer, half dried I might add. So now I have to re-wash that load. Thanks a lot!
Please stop "doing the laundry". Much obliged.

Science Fair awards. Still not reimbursed! Saw the school principal last night (she's no "Pal" of mine I tell you). "Great job on those ribbons Miss. DeGallo!" she tells me. Yes, she calls me Miss. Reallastname, yet expects to be referred to as Dr. Principal. And no word or mention on reimbursement for the cash I fronted.
They did look nice though. Damn, I hate this school.

Piko deGallo's School Sucks! With Tutorial!

Also known as, how I'm stupid enough to spend $90.00 of my own money so that the kids in the FIRST EVER science fair (which Piko deG is not even participating in!) can have nice awards. Hello!!! How do you even plan a competition without some kind of budget for awards?!?! So dummy me, goes ahead and buys what the teacher in charge says she "WANTS" to give out, thinking that's what she has money for. Surprise, surprise, she has not been approved anything for awards. Oh, did I forget to mention that the Science Fair is on Thursday??!?!! AAAAAAAAAGGGHGHGHGHGG!!!! Sarge is going to kill me.

I am The Awesome though, I was able to get a donation for 3 First Place trophies for the winners from the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade classes, on their individual projects. If you're ever in the area and need trophies, may I direct you to the nicest trophy shop ever!!

This is actually my tutorial for making Rosette Ribbon Awards.
I forgt to mention what you get for $90.00. I was able to make 7 -1st, 7 -2nd, and 6-3rd place rosettes. And I bought about 24 "honorable mention" type flat award ribbons.

Materials:
Double sided satin ribbon. I used 1 1/2" wide ribbon in 1 yard lengths.
Marking pen
Ruler
Fabric or craft glue. I used this stuff:



Make your own pinback button. I purchased mine from AC Moore for $1.00/ea, because I needed them right away. You can order them from Oriental Traders for a better price. Create an appropriate image for your award using your graphics program and insert into the pinback.
Flat Award ribbons. Again, I paid about $1.00 a piece for my flat ribbons at the dollar store, but if you plan ahead you can order them for a better price.
Heavy thread in a coordinating color to the ribbon you are using.
Sewing needle
Hot glue gun.


Step 1.
Lay out your ribbon, and with your ruler and pen, mark out 1" increments. Remember I used 1 1/2" ribbon, if you use a wider or thinner ribbon, you may have to adjust the width of this mark.

Step 2.
Place a small dot of glue on the bottom tip of the WRONG SIDE/unmarked side of the ribbon, and fold the edge backwards to meet up with the first 1" mark.
Step 3.
Turn the ribbon over to the right side, and place a small dot of glue on the first 1"mark. Fold the second mark over to meet the first mark, and hold in place while the glue dries.

Repeat this process along the length of the ribbon.

When you get to the end, the second mark from the end will be left.

Fold the end edge backwards to the wrong side of the ribbon, and glue into place where the last 1" mark is.


Your 1 yard of ribbon should be smaller, and naturally starting to spiral a little.

Step 4.
Starting at the beginning of your now ruffled ribbon, fold the first ruffle in half, and sew it in place. This might be a little hard because the glue makes the ribbon a little tough.

Step 5.

I've placed the pin here to demonstrate where you should be folding your next ruffle. This is about half way between the two ruffles.

See here, I've folded it at the pin, and have created a more ruffly section. Sew these areas into place.
Repeat the folding and sewing along the length of the ribbon. When you get to the end, match up the edges so that they form a nice circle, and you've hidden the edges. Sew into place.

Ta-DAH! Your finished rosette.
Step 6.

Ribbon assembly. Using your hot glue gun, glue the flat ribbon to the wrong side of the rosette. Make sure that you check from the front to make sure that the wording on your flat ribbon is properly displayed, and not covered up by the rosette.

Step 7.
Draw a bead of hot glue along the inner edge of the front of the rosette.

Step 8.

Place your decorated pinback into the open circle so that the pin part of the button is showing through the center hole of the rosette. Press into the hot glue so that it stays in place.

TA-DAH!!! Your finished rosette ribbon award!!
2nd place was decorated with extra thin ribbon son either side of the flat award ribbon. I used wired ribbon for this one, and it didn't really make much of a difference in folding and sewing the ruffles.
1st place was added to with 1 1/2" satin ribbon and thin gold ribbon.
I pinked the edges of all the ribbons so that they would match the flat award ribbon's edge.

I Don't Get People

People, you confuse me.

Some examples.

#1.
I did uniform patches for a guy Sarge works with. Normally these guys come grab their uniform, pay me and get the heck out. This guy though, well we discovered that we are both from Hawaii. Woo! Big woop. He ends up standing in my hallway talking for about 1/2 hour. This is not the confusing part. About 6:30, I tell Piko deGallo to start cleaning up her stuff, she asks me why, I tell her she needs to get to bed soon. The normal stuff we do/say every night. This guy is amazed. "She goes to bed this early? Damn! I wish my kid would go to bed early" How old is your kid? "He's 4. Last night he was up till about 2am!" Whaaaaa??!? "Yeah, I fell asleep, and woke up at 2, and he was sitting on my bed staring at me and eating a piece of bread." Ooookaaay... "He won't go to sleep, he always stays up till at least 11:00"

I'm seriously confused.

This guy works the opposite schedule as Sarge, which means he gets to work at about 4:45am, and gets off about 5:30pm. When Sarge worked that schedule he was in bed by 8:30 every night, needless to say this guy is not, and according to Sarge, he gets paperwork for being late all the time. Since when does your 4 year old dictate what time they "want" to go to bed? The hell man, they're freaking 4!! I think people like this are crazy when they're surprised that Piko deGallo goes to bed when I tell her, like I have some kind of magical power over my child. Well, actually I do I guess, it's called: I'm the adult and she's the child. I make the rules, she follows them. It's not amazing, it's not magic, it's not mean. I'm not saying that Piko deG always follows my direction, but I make sure she does for the important things that keep her safe and healthy. What the hell this guy is going to do next year when his kid starts kindergarten and has to be up by 6:15am, I have no idea.

#2.
Oooh, a big storm is coming!! We might be trapped in our home for, holy crap!, 24 hours!! Everyone and their mother must rush to the market NOW to stock up on bread, toilet paper, milk and eggs!!!

Obviously my marketing experience yesterday was less than enjoyable.

#3.
Why are you having a baby shower for a 4th child?? Especially when child #3 is going to be all of 1 1/2 when #4 hatches. Though this person gets a semi-pass when I found out that she's having her first girl.

No, I wasn't invited to the shower. I heard about it while having coffee with some of my PTA ladies (a whole other post in itself). I kinda, sorta know this lady, I we coached her oldest son in soccer this past year. I was going to make her a small baby quilt anyway, because she's usually pretty friendly to me. I didn't expect her to actually have a shower.

#4.
Piko deGallo!!! You confuse me the most!

Why do I have to drag you out of bed every day this week, moaning and whining about how tired you are (see #1, this is why I have her go to bed at 7:15, even with 11 hours of sleep it's a struggle to get her up sometimes). WHY??!! WHY?!! then do you get up at 5:30 AM on a snow day?!?!? Dude! We totally could have slept in!! It's not even really snowing, it's more like drizzly cold rain, that might turn into ice! So there's not even snow to get excited about.

And thanks for pointing out that Daddy's clock and my clock don't say the same time. For. Freaking. Fifteen. Minutes!!!

So...

So yesterday Piko came home crying. I though it was because we were making her come home so we could run errands. I'm all "Suck it up girl, you can play with them when we get back!" Not so much. Apparently her "friends" were calling her the "Queen of Losers!" And threatening to "tell on her" for what, I have no idea.

WHAT?!?!WHAT!!!???!!!

Now, I am the first to recognize that my kid can be somewhat of a namby pamby, and needs to grow some. But she's really not used to being called names. These girls that she plays with are sisters, and they can be pretty mean to eachother. Who knows, maybe the fact that they are now extending the name calling to Piko means that she's part of their family now.

I try not to get involved in this kind of crap when it goes down with my kid. But this time I'm a little torn between telling her to deal with it herself, and going over to talk to the mother. This mom's oldest child is being bullied in school, and she's under the impression that her daughter is not sticking up for herself, and is totally blameless in this bully situation. But based on what Piko is telling me, either she is not totally blameless, and/or it is affecting the way that she is interacting with other children.

Who the hell knows. I wasn't there to witness the interaction, so I don't know what exactly went on. The middle daughter is the one who walked Piko home, and was telling me a little bit about what happened, but I'm sure that she didn't really want to rat out her sisters.

Anyway, I'm really just venting, because it's anoying.

I ended up telling Piko that she was not going to be playing with them for the rest of the weekend. And that if they ever start calling her names again she is to stop playing with them immediately and come home. I don't care how much fun she was having, do not stay over there and take it. What else can I do? On a normal day she gets along very well with these girls, and they are the only kids on the block her age to play with.

Should I talk with the Mom? GAH!

P.S. We ended up staying inside, so we worked on Piko's science project.

VOLCANO!!!!

And so I find that it is Wednesday.
Looking at my calendar I realize that not only is next week Valentine's day, but I have a mini mural to do for some officer's club. Oh yeah, by tuesday. Oops.
I kind of ranted a bit last time about having to do a last minute mural, but who the heck am I kidding, that's the way I work even when I have a 3 week lead time.

I guess this means that I'm off to the store to pick up my painting supplies. So I'm off, and it's a bit early so Michael's is not open yet, so I hit the Target next door. I need some lightbulbs anyway.

8:30 am in the middle of the week, I figure I'll pretty much have the place to myself. Not so much.

The hell?!?! Target is chock-a-block full of mothers and their young spawn precious angels. Which, hey, I get. They probably have been up since 5 am (which is when Piko used to get up), and need something to do, Target is clean, open, and probably empty. Kids are fine, don't get me wrong, I like kids, have one of my own. What I hate is this:

Mommy: Don't touch!
Mommy's Little Angel (MLA): I'm nawt towching.
Mommy: Don't!
MLA: I'm nawt!!!
Mommy: Don't touch that or I'll put you in the cart!
MLA: OOOOHHH!!! Look Mawmeeeeeee!!!!!!! Can I have some candy?
Mommy: I said don't touch that!
MLA: I'm nawt. Candy Mawmeee!!
Mommy: No!
MLA: Caaaaannnndddeeee!!!!Maaaawwwwmmmmeeeeee!!!
Mommy: Didn't I tell you not to touch?! I'm going to put you in the cart!
MLA: No cart Mawmee!!

I swear to whatever deity is the most powerful!!! Put your damn kid in the damn cart already!! I'm not buying anything from that aisle because I can hear very well that they touch everything in it!!! Can a person not browse the totally cute baking and packaging aisles in peace?!?!

I'm so evil, but when I'm with Piko and we hear that kind of behavior, and if she is behaving herself despite outside influence. I loudly offer to buy her some candy.
Evily.

BAH!

A couple of annoyances from this week.

Mother loving freaking school FUNDRAISERS!!! That's right, this is the second fundraiser for Piko deGallo's school this year! This time it's Otis Spunkmeyer cookie dough, which I understand to be quite excellent. Well the incentive this time is to sell 10 tubs of dough (at $14.00 a tub) and come to "MR. MONEY'S MEGA PARTY!!"
And again, they had the fricken assembly where they get the kids all pumped up about the cool crap they can "win" if their parents love them enough to buy $140.00 worth of cookies. Not happening in the deGallo household this time I tell you. I guess I just don't love my daughter enough.


Gym dudes. Enough OK. Stop freaking staring at me while I'm explaining to my friend how to do something. You're making me think I'm doing it wrong, even though I know I'm not. And if I am doing it wrong, helping me correct her form would go over much better than intensely staring at us. It's just creepy, especially since the exercise we are doing is a stiff leg deadlift. It looks like you're staring at our butts. No love to you.

On a funny note, I have come to realise that even if I loved to exercise I could never be a personal trainer. Well, of course there is all that personal interaction with people, and the fact that I hate to exercise. But also, I'm not that much of a motivator. I'm kind of, yeah....do whatever you're comfortable with, I'm not going to push you. I got all intense with my workout pal, you know "COME ON!!!! ONE MORE!!! JUST ONE MORE!!!!!" And it just made the both of us laugh. Though, I suppose it would be different if it was actually my job to be that way.

Why, why, why do none of the supermarkets in my area (Safeway, Giant, Shoppers, Commissary) not carry Quinoa, Greek Yogurt, or Halloumi? I have to drive to Virginia to get my yummy healthy goodness. But, I guess it's a good excuse to geek out with excitement at Whole Foods (am I the only person who gets excited about cool supermarkets?).

Also, yay to finding jicama at the local Shoppers, and the most excellent fried chicken. Boooo! to having to drive over to Safeway to get fresh Sage.

Boooo! also to the Safeway check out guy who first refused to NOT give me a bag. I only had the packet of Sage, a bag of carrots, and a bag of cheese. And then proceeded to lecture me on how "This is AMERICA!!! Everyone deserves a bag!!" WTF is that?! AND THEN mangled my maiden name (it prints out on my receipt when I use my Safeway Card), granted, my maiden name contains 4 syllables, 4 vowels, and a Z, and is difficult to pronounce. BUT WAIT! Then he LAUGHED at me when I responded with the correct pronunciation , and said "Well, close enough right?".
No, no sir, I'm afraid not.

EDIT: Let me just add that while I was getting ready to mop my house this morning I dropped my copy of Pride and Prejudice into a bucket of PineSol. GARH!!!!

I Feel Dirty

I have just finished, dare I say it...

Jane Austen Chick-Lit.

Yeah, it was pretty horrible. My only consolation about buying this book was that it was only $1.40 from my local thrift Store. Maybe I can put it to further use by using it as tinder to start my next BBQ.

I bought it thinking "Meh, maybe it'll be ok." however it was very unoriginal, the plot of the main character basically following that of Elizabeth Bennet in P&P. With the "real" Mr. Darcy appearing mysteriously along the way to throw her into a tizzy, and then reduced to the basic outline of his character. Proud, yes, snobby, well DUH! brooding, naturally, sexist, sure, but expected of a man of that time. Blah, blah, blah. You could see the plot coming a mile away, the main character (the Mary Sue, if you will)was pretty clueless and unlikeable, subplots mirrored P&P, and the outcome was very glaringly obvious. Uh, Una J. Steane=Jane Austen, DUH!

I still can't believe that I read the whole thing. I should have just re-read P&P.

Complaint to PBS/BBC/Masterpiece Theatre.
RE: The Complete Jane Austen

TOO MUCH KISSING!!!!

That is all.