Sunday, February 17


So yesterday Piko came home crying. I though it was because we were making her come home so we could run errands. I'm all "Suck it up girl, you can play with them when we get back!" Not so much. Apparently her "friends" were calling her the "Queen of Losers!" And threatening to "tell on her" for what, I have no idea.


Now, I am the first to recognize that my kid can be somewhat of a namby pamby, and needs to grow some. But she's really not used to being called names. These girls that she plays with are sisters, and they can be pretty mean to eachother. Who knows, maybe the fact that they are now extending the name calling to Piko means that she's part of their family now.

I try not to get involved in this kind of crap when it goes down with my kid. But this time I'm a little torn between telling her to deal with it herself, and going over to talk to the mother. This mom's oldest child is being bullied in school, and she's under the impression that her daughter is not sticking up for herself, and is totally blameless in this bully situation. But based on what Piko is telling me, either she is not totally blameless, and/or it is affecting the way that she is interacting with other children.

Who the hell knows. I wasn't there to witness the interaction, so I don't know what exactly went on. The middle daughter is the one who walked Piko home, and was telling me a little bit about what happened, but I'm sure that she didn't really want to rat out her sisters.

Anyway, I'm really just venting, because it's anoying.

I ended up telling Piko that she was not going to be playing with them for the rest of the weekend. And that if they ever start calling her names again she is to stop playing with them immediately and come home. I don't care how much fun she was having, do not stay over there and take it. What else can I do? On a normal day she gets along very well with these girls, and they are the only kids on the block her age to play with.

Should I talk with the Mom? GAH!

P.S. We ended up staying inside, so we worked on Piko's science project.


Gifted Typist said...

That is so hard. We've all been there - trying to decide between sticking up for are darlings or letting them work it out themselves. Girls play such head games with one another.

Keep an eye on the situation and your daughter. Talk to her. Support her. And if it gets to be an intolerable situation of bullying, then - and only then - intervene.

MdG said...

Yes, that's my first impulse. She needs to learn to stand up for herself.

I know that if these girls come over tomorrow to see if she can come out to play she'll happily go off with them.

she said: said...

She definitely needs to learn to stand up for herself.

But - I would talk to the mom and see if you can find out the situation. I've known so many people who were bullied in school, and it lives with them forever. I was one of the popular girls.. so I was never bullied. But I can see it was very hard on everyone I've ever met who was bullied.

Try to get her to be a comic - comics are rarely bullied. They do it because they know it bothers her.

Pageant Mom said...

Darned if you do, darned if you don't. If you speak to the Mom you risk making it worse between the kids (esp if she comes down on them without really enforcing), and if you don't you minimize the chances of it stopping.

I was in the same boat as a kid, and found out years later it was because those kids were jealous of the things I had that they did not. Even though we didn't have much, my parents gave me all the opportunities they could... perhaps they are a bit envious of something(s) that Piko has that they do not?