BAH! Shopping rant!

Piko de G and I trekked out to the commissary this morning to restock our 'fridge with something more than frozen hamburgers, sliced tomatoes, and soda.

We got rock star parking right up front, and all was looking well. I should have known it would only go downhill from there.

Today was shopping cart derby day in the aisles. Just about everywhere we went carts were parked strategically sideways, or in the smack dab middle of the aisle.

In the spice section there were about 6 people in a group blocking half the lane, and their carts were along the other half. Basically causing what M. Sarge would refer to as a "Cluster F**K", making me say WTF? And they were all apparently together, and arguing the merits of garlic salt vs. garlic flakes! Move out of the damn aisle!!

As we were moving towards the dairy area there was a lady parked horizontally across the lane. As if she were turning around and getting ready to head back in the other direction, and then decided that that would be a totally AWESOME place to stop and have a 5 minute "chat" with her friend who was all the way down by the orange juice. NOT. SO. MUCH!!!!

Finally, getting in line to pay. UGH, please move your damn cart 2 inches closer to the checkout so I can get past, thankyouverymuch! This lady was with her two older teen looking children and was leaning on the back of her cart while the kids were unloading it onto the belt. There were three other registers open down past her, and we were trying to get past. She leaned, her kids unpacked, looked at me, unpacked more, she leaned more. I said excuse me about 4 times, Piko de G even said excuse me. She leaned some more. FINALLY, she gets out of the way, by backing up into my cart. "Oops I was trying to get out of the way, and ended up getting in the way. Tee-hee!" I just gave her my 1,000 mile stare and said "Uh-huh". Then Piko de G being 5 said really loudly "SHE DID GET IN THE WAY!!!" as we finally passed them. Nice.

Another question, when the heck did it become a good idea to allow a 6 year old to "drive" a full shopping cart? If they're going to *DRIVE* it into the back of my ankles, I'm going to have to *DRIVE* my foot up their.....

This is what I get for going at 10:30 instead of 8:30.

I got a nice Borders gift card from my in laws for Christmas, and finally decided to spend some of it the other week while Piko de Gallo was at school. How I love going to the book store by myself!!

I love book stores, I don't necessarily love Borders as I used to work there about 7 years ago. I believe that I am suffering from Post Traumatic Store Employee Syndrome.

I cannot browse without putting things away. It chills my cold little heart a bit more to see that customers are still the lazy 'tock-holes they were 7 years ago. As I browse the magazines, I see stuff out of place, I put them back, I browse remainders (sale books), putting stuff back. Seriously how hard is it to pick up a book, look at it, decide you don't want it, and then put it back right where you found it. I browse genre fiction, find random paperbacks on the floor, put them back.

I flashback to the afternoon that I spent organizing the mini book spinner in my old store. When I was done, all of those stupid little books were organized by subject, with the multiples all together. A totally fruitless endeavor I should have known. After I finished, I was stationed at the information desk, and watched as a lady flipped through the books. Picking up a book, putting it back in a random place, picking up another, and putting it back randomly. I wanted to grab the spinner from her and yell "NO BOOKS FOR YOU!". Who the hell needs a mini book on rubber duckies anyway??

The kicker however came when I was in the crafts section looking at knitting books. When does it ever seem appropriate to just lay books across the tops of other books on the shelves? I would think that it would be better to just leave them on the floor. So I'm in the craft section, looking at the books, and shelving all of the ones that are lying across the tops of the stacks. I must have looked like a Crazy Customer (TM.) , because booksellers kept walking past me, giving me the weird look. I had to stop myself when I came across a copy of Duty and Desire: A Novel of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman IN THE CRAFTS SECTION!!!!! Seriously, I know you can read, you're in a fracking bookstore, so you must know your alphabets.

On a tangent. Finding a book about Mr. Darcy in the knitting/crafting section makes me think that the people (women most likely) buying craft/knitting books fall into the stereotypical female Jane Austen reader category. And yes, I include myself in that category I'm afraid, because what was my final purchase that day? Cross Stitch a Day calendar, Crochet a Day calendar (hey, they were clearanced at $4 each!), and Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility.

Back on track. I know that the people putting crap away in random places of the store are exactly the same people who bitch and moan when the computer says the store has one copy of something, and it cannot be found in it's rightful place on the shelf. Ooooh, I used to hate those people!! It's been years, and I still hate those people.

Sarge says I have latent customer service issues.

I say that I should just stay home and order from Amazon.com.