Saturday, January 19

Anniversary of Horrors

The 16th was Sarge and my 8th wedding anniversary. I didn't write about it until now because I was trying to erase the horrors from my mind.

Actually it wasn't that terribly bad. But in my little, little world, anything that does not revolve around a quiet evening of brand new Mythbusters, and Project Runway on a Wednesday night (see my previous post) is a major disruption.

Just fair warning, this got pretty TL;DR.

Let me start by showing you what I got Sarge for our Anniversary.

Well, OK, so it's more of a joke than anything else, but that should give you an idea of what our day/night entailed.

Our whole family has been hit with a Norovirus type of ailment this week. It started with Piko deG emptying her stomach all night long on Friday night, not too bad right? At least it was Friday. She was absolutely fine on Saturday, we even ended up going to see a movie.

Sunday morning she wakes up with horrible, horrible, gigantic hives all over her entire body. AAAAA!!!!! Hives freak me out, combine with vomiting. We spent the morning in the ER, which by the time they saw us, the hives had resolved themselves. I hate wasting our, and the Doctor's time in the ER. Anyway, Sunday night, I'm up vomiting. Vomiting so much in fact that chunks come out of my nose. Nice, I know. Awful. Well, at least it's Sunday, Piko will be in school the next day and I can rest. Ha-Ha!!! What a cruel joke!

Monday morning, I wake up with body ache and a monkey laying on with a sledge hammer in my frontal lobe. Piko's hives are back again, this time it's migrated to her face, and she looks like Rocky Balboa in the 9th round. MOTHERLOVER! So, Benadryl for her, Motrin for me, and in bed all day. Ugh. Piko bounces back as soon as the Benadryl runs it's course and the drowsiness has worn off. Me, well let's just say that the monkey in my head has now used the sledge hammer on the rest of my body. It hurts to stand, it hurts to lie down. Well, you get the picture.

Then on Tuesday, SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST! Piko, massive hives, other eye. Me, smaller sledge hammer. Luckily Piko will be happy to watch Star Wars while I sleep it off. And no appointments are to be had with anyone in our PCM's office. 6pm or so things are getting back to normal when Sarge announces: "Hmmmm, I don't feel so well". AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, he spent the night spewing from both ends (sorry, I know that's gross).

Wednesday, Piko is ok, send her to school. Sarge is now entertaining my hammer happy monkey. We have a meeting to do paperwork so we can leave to Germany. Hey, it's our anniversary! We attend our meeting which involves me being questioned by some lady about my mental health, drug and alcohol abuse, and possible abusive relationship with my husband.

Ok. sidebar here. Now I have two major issues with this meeting. First, the questions ran along the lines of "Do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol? Have you ever been seen for drug or alcohol counseling while on this base? Have you been treated at the psychiatric center while living on this base? Have you been visited by a caseworker from the Family Services office while on this base?" WTFBBQ?!?!?! Please note that we were AT the Family Services office. Do they not keep freaking records themselves?!?! WASTE MY FREAKING TIME why don't you!! Second, and I think this is the worst one. IN FRONT of my HUSBAND she asks me "Do you live in an abusive household?" I just looked at Sarge and kind of giggled nervously and said no, as he rolled his eyes. I'm sure that looked good. Why in the world would they ask a spouse in front of the other spouse if they were living in an abusive household?!?! Like someone is going to give an honest answer. Freaking morons. On top of these horrors, it's apparently going to take another week to get our paperwork back from the Doctor who couldn't be bothered to show up for our meeting. Only then we can get our final orders for Germany cut.

So quick recap.
Piko- Sick, vomiting, hives.
Me- Sick, vomiting, massive head and body ache, dealing with stupid.
Sarge- Sick, both ends, massive head and body ache, dealing with stupid.

Wheee!!! It's my anniversary!!

Then at about 1am, Piko threw up her dinner in her bed. Aaaah, wedded bliss.
Sarge gave me the best anniversary gift though, he was still up, and so did 90% of the clean up, while trying not to wake me up. I just had to put the bedding in the wash, and get Piko setteled back into the hide-a-bed for the rest of the night.


dennis said...


happy anniversary??

gifted typist said...

So, 25 is celebrated with silver

50 is celebrated with gold

& 8 is celebrated with sick, vomit, stupid questions, hives and body ache.

What will the 9th anniversary bring?

MdG said...

GT- Funny enough the "traditional" 8 year gifts are ceramics, and linnens. We were very familiar with our porcelain this week. And I'm thinking that some new linnens may be in order.

Though truly we as a couple don't put too much emphasis on our anniversaries.

Jacy said...

That is weird about the hives. Did they ever figure out what was causing them?

Hives are usually caused by something you've ingested.

Oh wait ... now I see ... abusive household!! You have obviously been plying Piko with hive-causing drugs and alcohol!!!

p.s. Made the best carrot cake today.

MdG said...

They were surely food caused hives because she had them everywhere. If it was a contact dermatitis, it would just be on the exposed areas. I have no idea what she ate, we didn't do anything new, and she's not allergic to anything so far.

You're too funny. That lady seriously pissed me off though.

Anonymous said...

I just had a moment of pity for your entire family. YUCK!! How horrible for everyone.

And Sarge should have answered the abuse question with "Well, if you count getting me sick and lose it out of both ends, then yes, she's an abusive wife."

WTFBBQ is right!!! There should be separate private interviews if they actually expect to ever get really info out of people. Oh FFS, I can't believe I just tried to solve the problems of the military. I've lost my grip on reality.

The Librarian