I now know why our team was the one without a coach.
Somehow we managed to have a team consisting of:
1. The homeschooled speed talker. She does not shut up! AND she knows everything there ever was to know about soccer.
2. The uber-strong 1st grader with listening issues. This kid's favorite part of practice is hanging from the goal and kicking the ball at Sarge's head. He has now made all of the other kids very interested in being goalie because they all want to swing from the goal. Yes, we have management issues, but really how many times can you tell a kid to get off the freaking goal? He actually fell lastnight and got a little hurt, but has that changed his atitude towards the hanging? Not so much.
3. The cry baby. Yeah, that's our kid. "No one will pass to meeeeeee!!!"
4. The snotty kid with "junk" issues. I don't mean that he's stuck up, he's got alot of snot, and is always poking or pulling at himself and pulling his shorts up his crotch. Think 80's Jimmy Conors.
5. "I don't want to mess up my hair girl", who is really very nice, but does not want to run around too much.
And two other kids who are normal and good listeners.
I think that at the next practice I'm telling them that if they hang on that goal not only are they going to have to have a time out, but we are changing our team name from "The Sharks" to "The Monkeys".
Freaking hate coaching.