Sunday, May 6

de Gallo Family Dynamics

This is actually hilariously funny now, but trust me it was not funny when it happened.

Last night Sarge came home to get his dinner, and after he left I let Dog de Gallo out to do her nightly business. She came back in and then started upstairs as I was making the rounds locking doors, and turning off lights. She waited for me on the landing, and we started up to the bedroom.

I didn't really see what happened next, but caught the tail end of it.

The Cat came out of nowhere, and jumped on Dog. All I saw was teeth and claws. Cat did not actually get Dog, but she sure scared her. I guess Cat is usually in Piko's room when Dog and I go to bed, so Dog was not expecting the sneak attack. Poor Dog runs right into our bedroom and onto her bed. Cat went the other direction into the guest room.

A bit later as I'm settling in to do the crossword in bed (highlight of my day >dorky!<), it smells like poo! What the hell? Why does it smell like poo? I go check out the litter box, but that's not it, I just cleaned it. Get back into bed, must be my imagination. No, it still smells like poo. So I start looking around.

DOG! Why is there a nugget of poo on your bed!! Have you been eating your poo again?! CRAP!!! I stepped in it!!! F**K!!! IT'S ON THE BED!!!!! MOTHER LOVING...$#@**!!!!

So I'm traveling the upstairs scrubbing bits of poo off the carpet, stripping the bed, wiping Dog's butt. I checked her feet thinking that maybe she stepped on a fresh one when she went out. Nope, it was dingle berries, hanging on. Nice.

I had to remake the bed (which I hate doing on a regular non-poo day), set the poo sheets in the wash to soak overnight. Though I'm not sure I'll ever be able to use those sheets again. Wash my feet and hands, and change my clothes. Ugh. And then I was not able to finish the crossword.

Sarge gets into bed this morning, and I tell him that the cat literally scared the shit out of the dog. He can't stop laughing, and honestly neither can I.

Poor Dog, we have got to get rid of this cat.


Jacy said...

I have a cat I have to get rid of too. Old, half-blind, half-deaf, yowling in the middle of the night, perverted uncle-esque cat. No one wants him. Which means I will have to go and get him put to sleep, just because he annoys the entire house. Let me know what you do re: getting rid of your cat.

MdG said...

Basically I'm asking everyone I know, and everyone I meet if they want a cat.

It's not working.

she said: said...

You know..... the cat followed you home. I bet it could find a new home all on its own. He seems healthy enough, and everyone leaves some sort of pet food out.

Not that I'm advocating such a thing. Just saying.

dennis said...

I wrote a poem about a psycho cat once...I even tried to get rid of it but my roommate wanted to keep it...

My consolation was that i would throw catnip under my roomies door at night...

Tearfree aka Reject the Koolaid said...

I am starting a campaign to find homes for your cat, Jacy's cat, and my cat, Fonzie.