Not Perfect

Piko's annoying habits. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that my child is not perfect. For one, she does not like potatoes. Not even french fries!!! She's an alien I swear!! She would also rather watch Mythbusters (Science YAY!), Surprise By Design (She loves that Robert Birdie), or Take Home Chef (Takes after mom, likes that Aussie accent)all day than anything else on TV. I'm actually quite glad of that, because The Wonder Pets have rotted my brain, Joe wears too much makeup, and she never wants to watch Lazytown and that hottie Sporticus.

Anyway, on to the annoying. And this is just a sample of the past couple of days.

The inability to close a door quietly. This has become more pronounced ever since Sarge had begun working nights. She'll be up in the morning, and I'll hear her opening and closing her door. Not quietly either, there must be some level of satisfaction with not quite slamming it, but closing it firmly. And to add another level of annoying gooeyness, she does a double close. You know, where the door bounces off the jam, and you have to pull it back again to close it. Then, there's something about the door knob that seems to fascinate her, sometimes I'll just hear "rattle, rat-rat-RATTLE, CLICK!!! rattle, rattle, CLICK! CLICK!!!!" AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stating the obvious. Yes, I know she's 5, and that's what 5 year olds do. But this happens almost every morning. I'll get up, and see what she's doing, and then tell her I'm going downstairs to let the dog out. I come down, let Dog out, boot up the old claptrap of a compuper, get the morning paper, start the coffee. 20 minutes later, from the top of the stairs I'll hear:
"Mommy?.....Mommy......Mommy! Mommy?"
"YEEEES!?!"
"Are you downstairs?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I'll get sarcastic and say no. But she's too smart for me! Can't trick her!
"YES YOU ARE!!!!!!"
Oh crap, Sarge is trying to sleep!

And what's up with not remembering to
1. Wipe after going #1
2. Flush the toilet
3. Wash your hands?
And then topping it off by coming back outside with the whole front of her dress stuffed into her underwear. OK, that last part is kind of funny. But I'm getting awfully tired of finding logs in the pool at bedtime that have been there since 7am.