Hello?

Oh Sarge, you are the greatest. You mow the lawn, take out the trash, put the seat down, play with Piko de G, give me back rubs, let me control the remote during prime time, and you explain sports rules and statistics to me without being an ass.

So I say this with the greatest of love and respect.

The whole "Call me when you're ready to pick me up" thing only works IF YOU ACTUALLY TURN ON YOUR PHONE!!!!

Please turn on your phone, I'm ready to pick you up.